The Not Quite Adventures of a Professional Archaeologist and Aspiring Curmudgeon

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Object Photos

The building at 5-Points in Santa Cruz

So, I am going to be working out of town for a couple of days starting tommorrow, but in the meantime, I thought I'd post more photos. I had previously posted photos of people and of landscapes, this time it is photos I have taken of objects. If you don't like them, and I can't say that I blame you there, then pretend that they are paparazzi photos of celebrities. In fact, I'll offer two sets of comments on each photo, one describing what it is, and one for those pretending that it's something else.

First off is this image of one of the "natural bridge" hollows carved out of the sandstone at Lighthouse beach in Santa Cruz.


Here we see Mary Kate and Ashley Olson visiting "Stan the Man", their favorite crack dealer. Although other dealers offer equal quality at lower prices, Mary Kate and Ashley believe in loyalty, and so they keep coming back to Stan.

Next up is a photo of birds occupying a railing at a park in Santa Cruz. I saw them ont he rail, realized this was a great picture, and managed ot get a shot before they all flew away.


Here is an image of Keanu Reeves with his new agent, arguably the most powerful agent a celebrity could have, Satan. Despite his tremendous influence and power, Satan doesn't demand too large a cut of his star's earnings, instead opting to lead them down the road to temptation and thus entrap them eternally. All in all, it's a win-win situation.

This next photo is in colcor, despite the fact that it looks as if it is black-and-white. It's a picture of a dry portion of the bed of the LExington Reservoir near Los Gatos, CA. I was walking around the reservoir looking for photo opportunities, when I noticed the cracking pattern of the dry bed.


Here we see a retro photo of Betty Davis back in her hey-day. Note the red on her lips - that's not cosmetics, it's the blood of a baby she has devoured. She says that bathing in the blood of innocents is what keeps her skin vibrant and beautiful. Oh Betty, you card!

I was working on a project in Watsonville, and drove by this building on my way home. In balck-and-white on an overcast day, it looked both fascinating and rather creepy.


This is Richard Simmon's new home, the upper floor is his living quarters, and the lower floor is where a group of obese accolytes run on treadmills to power the city of Los Angeles as overlord Richard walsk the floor and encourages them with cheerful words, oldies music, and a cat-o-nine tails.

Finally, there is this one. I was doing powerline surveys (to ensure that work on some power lines would not damage archaeological sites) near Fresno, and while walking underneath them, I became interested in their structure. So, I snapped this shot, which looks to me like some sort of demented industrial spiderweb.


And so we bid this look at our favorite celebrities farewell with a shot of Julia Roberts passed out in a gutter, a bottle of jack Daniels in one hand and a package of expired tortillas in the other. Please join us next time on Lifestyles of the Big and Decadent!


Melissa said...

These are such great pictures, Matthew. I really like the black and white one. Did you use black and white film or did you change them to b/w later?

Anthroslug said...

These are all digital photos. The color settings are based on what is on my camera.